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Booby-Trapped House

The impending capture of the House Speaker’s gavel by MAGA quisling Kevin McCarthy is shaping up to be the biggest booby prize, and booby trap, in American political history. Perhaps, instead of making heartless jokes comparing the gavel to the hammer used to attack Pelosi’s husband just before the election, House Republicans should have been examining the damn thing to see if it is actually a boomerang.

As the world now knows, very little went according to plan for the MAGA-tized Republican Party in the November 8 midterm elections. The results are still not final at the time of writing, and may not be known for days or even weeks, but the Democrats appear to have held the Senate and maybe even added a seat, and gained a few governorships and control of a few state legislatures. And the Republicans, far from making the gains of dozens of seats they expected to flip control of the House of Representatives and then cement that control, seem to be getting a hairline margin, something in the single digits. McCarthy’s hangers on are supposedly confident he will still win their party’s nod for the speakership, which will quickly make him the unhappiest man alive.

Remember, he promised to give MAGA troll Marjorie Taylor Greene committee assignments to make up for her persecution by the Democrats, who acted to keep her off all committees due to her Jew-hating fantasy about Rothschild-owned space lasers starting California wildfires and her previous career of harassing the grieving parents of schoolchildren murdered in the Sandy Hook massacre, accusing them like Alex Jones did of being fakers. Were the Republicans still a halfway normal political party, they would themselves have denied her and fellow raving nutjob Paul Gosar committee assignments; instead, they gave Greene a standing ovation. Greene and Gosar will certainly call in these chits, and the sniveling coward McCarthy will undoubtedly rush to appease them. He’s not even bold or clever enough to attempt to consign them to someplace they can do no harm, like say the House Merchant Marine and Fisheries Committee. Greene, Gosar, and other MAGA lunatic-luminaries like suspected patron of child prostitutes Matt Gaetz will return the favor by immediately stealing the spotlight from the speaker, launching inquisitions of Dr. Anthony Fauci, summoning the tinfoil hat brigade to testify as to how Black Lives Matter is actually a criminal syndicate controlled by sneaky Jews, etc. Any moves by McCarthy to not wreck the U.S. economy by defaulting on the national debt will immediately spark a rebellion by this coterie of MAGA witches and warlocks, egged on by the Grand Wizard himself, Donald Trump.

McCarthy’s impending ordeal is delicious to contemplate. The damage done to the nation and its teetering democracy, rather less so.

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