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Oh, So They Want To ‘Investigate’ Dr. Fauci, Do They?

Let’s Have That Little Talk About Who Killed One Million Americans!

Yessiree Bob, MAGA is locked and loaded for bear! They can’t wait to torture poor Kevin McCarthy, who only wants to lick their jackboots, and to “launch investigations” as soon as they take the wheel of the House of Representatives in January. With Marjorie Taylor Greene running the Oversight Committee, what could possibly go wrong for them?

Whoa there, boys and girls. None of this is going to work out for you like you think it will. Now that you have a new Führer-candidate in the Twittering Muskrat, you can “work toward” him in hauling Dr. Anthony Fauci in for inquisition, but you’ll be sorry if you do, because that meek-looking 81-year-old physician don’t take no crap from the likes of you. Just ask your comrade-in-bullshit, Senator Rand Paul. You can foam at the mouth, making up outrageous lies about Dr. Fauci having created the pandemic, but you’re going to have to sit there and take it when he roars back that your unreasoning hatred for face masks and vaccines was what put so many of your constituents and chump followers in early graves. Then what? You can pound your little gavels and howl that he’s out of order, but you actually have no power to have him hauled away in handcuffs or murdered on the spot like you wish. And you’ll be giving him a podium to tell the world again about the nauseating threats his family has faced from your wild-eyed followers, and every halfway sane American, including plenty of actual conservatives and registered Republicans, will despise you a little more.

And since you’ll have opened the door, you nasty pieces of work, the whole world will be reminded yet again that it was your old original Trumpenführer who told people to swallow horse pills and bleach, such that many of your gullible idiot followers actually did. The Democrats temporarily in minority on the Oversight Committee can use their investigative powers to look into precisely whose financial interests Trump was boosting in between the expressions of sheer madness. We can all relive that time he was at death’s door thanks to his own foolishness, and how he needlessly exposed Secret Service agents to life-threatening risk so he could wave at his followers.

Then you want to turn the tables and “investigate the investigators” of the Poo-Poo Putsch. Go ahead, I dare you. Let’s rub even deeper into the national consciousness the gaudy disgrace of that day, with cosplaying maniacs forming a lynch mob in the Rotunda of the Capitol, and how only a few brave cops were able to stave off Trump’s attempt to impose a dictatorship on the “leader of the Free World,” the very country that has made kings and tyrants everywhere quake from its inception. Go on and remind everybody, over and over again, including those who might wish to forget.

Oh, but you think you have a secret weapon: that stupid laptop belonging to President Biden’s mess of a son. Representatives of the District of Lunacy, I hate to break it to you, but nobody is going to be watching that dog-and-pony show after the first ten minutes, except the Q-Anons whom you are welcome to. By the time you’re done, it’s not just Trump who is going to be a “laughingstock,” it’s the entire MAGA-tized Congressional Republican party. Non-ladies and anti-gentlemen, you might think you’ve been elected dogcatcher, but have I got news for you: dogs bite, and it’s your fascist asses on the line.


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