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Those ‘Disloyal’ Jews Are Really Bothering Donald Antiochus Trump

Our one-and-only Very Stable Genius® has a bad case of paranoia about the Jews. Maybe Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Rothschild space lasers are cooking whatever parts of his brain were untouched by his near-fatal case of COVID. She can look into that next month, once she’s comfortably seated on the House Oversight Committee.

His latest outburst about the Jews’ “lack of loyalty” followed the torrent of criticism he received for his recent dinner with Jew haters Kanye West and Nick Fuentes, which included even a few cowardly murmurings from Republican elected officials. Really, hasn’t he got bigger problems than the Chosen People, such as the hurricane of criminal indictments that’s about to hit Mar-a-Lago, and Florida Führer Don DeRantis, I mean Ron DeSantis, overtaking him in the Republican presidential primary polls? You would think so, but for the obsessive Jew hater, nothing is more important than settling accounts with that “certain people scattered abroad and dispersed among the peoples,” in the words of the very first antisemite, Haman of ancient Persia (Esther 3:8).

Haman is not found anywhere outside the pages of the Bible, but he is the very type of the power-crazed ruler who finds the Jews’ irreducible particularity intolerable in his mad drive to homogenize everybody under his reign, not to mention their refusal to bow down. Antiochus IV “Epiphanes” (“the god made manifest”), ruler of the Seleucid kingdom of Syria in the second century BCE, is another such figure who is well-known to history. His fellow Greek wannabes snickered that he should be called “Epimanes,” or madman, but it was no laughing matter for him in 165 BCE that the Jews of Israel, a territory he had recently snatched away from the rival Greek wannabes the Ptolemies of Egypt, wouldn’t even worship Zeus like everybody else speaking sorta-Greek (“koine”) in the modern Middle East of 2,200 years ago. So he took matters firmly in hand and rededicated the Jewish Temple in Jerusalem to the old thunderbolt-flinger of Olympus, complete with a statue and fake Greek priests. He also sent his soldiers out to slaughter Jews who continued to follow their own religion, many of whom fled out into the desert with everything they owned rather than submit. You don’t have to take the word of whoever wrote the Book of Maccabees or even Josephus for that; archeologists in Israel just found a wooden box full of silver coins hidden by one such refugee in his flight. Trump, at the moment, has no formal command over armies like Antiochus’s, although his MAGA followers do still regard him as a god made manifest, and when he shits out his hard little turds of hate, coprophagic “lone wolf” Jew haters start loading their AR-15s to mass-murder Jews in a synagogue like the ones in Pittsburgh and Poway, California.

Here’s the thing, though, Mr. Very Stable Genius®. You may incite your followers to kill individual Jews, just like Antiochus Epiphanes Epimanes. Presumably his soldiers got the poor shlub who hid those silver coins in the wooden box in the desert, since he never came back for them. The men you inspired murdered eleven Jews in the Tree of Life synagogue and a woman in the Poway synagogue. But we Jews just keep on keepin’ on, and we remember and celebrate our victories over your kind and the very memory of your kind, as we are about to do on Hanukkah, which commemorates the successful Jewish rebellion against your forbear Antiochus. Everyone else thinks you’re a laughingstock, just like the ancients thought about him. And then they forget about tyrants like you altogether, and we are the only ones who remember you, that we may mock your loserosity again and again and again.

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