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The Suspicious Timing of Musk’s Twitter Takeover

In all the torrent of commentary on Elon Musk’s takeover of Twitter, somehow a rather obvious fact has been overlooked. This drama had been dragging on for six months, ever since he made his initial $44 billion offer in April only to retract it in July, triggering a legal fight. So how is it that Electrical Elon suddenly returned to his original offer and had it accepted in late October, just over a week before the midterm elections?

Even casual observers of American politics know that in recent years, would-be tenants of the White House are given to throwing their hats in the ring just after the midterm elections, two years in advance of the next presidential election. This of course is because one must lunge for the greased pig as early as possible, in order to allow sufficient time to kiss all the wealthy butts necessary to mount a campaign. All year, though, we have been told that the great mind behind the January 6 Smear-Shit-in-the-Hall Putsch was champing at the bit to announce that he was running to Take Back America, not even waiting for the anticipated MAGA conquest of Congress. But in an unprecedented display of self-control from the Once and Future Toddler-in-Chief, he held back, so as not to generate interference with the propagation of the Great Red Wave.

Therefore, I postulate, Electrical Elon, that mighty Friend of Trump, also held back on consummating his purchase of Twitter. He has already promised to resurrect the Maximum Mountebank’s Twitter account, but for maximum effect, he hung fire on the purchase and the Great Restoration until just before the carefully planned start of the Mother of All Comebacks. Clever, isn’t he? And about as subtle as a Ford F150 decked out with a twenty-foot TRUMP 2024 flag driving down Main Street blasting the QAnon Anthem.

Whatever spin the Musky Aroma is putting out now, his intentions are perfectly plain. He has suspended all “content moderation,” the minimal Nazi Troll Control pre-takeover Twitter was doing, and is already readying layoffs of up to three-quarters of the company’s workforce, so that the remaining skeletal staff will be quite incapable of doing anything more than keeping the damn bluebird flying. He also let the world know exactly where he stands by propagating a disgusting fascist lie about the attempted assassination of Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. If there were any Truth in Advertising, Musk would be forced to rebrand Twitter “Trump Social.”


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