So, now it’s official: Israel is an outlaw nation, worse than North Korea, certainly worse than its real enemy in the ongoing war, the Islamic Republic of Beating Teenage Girls to Death. Its leaders are wanted men (Israel’s, of course, not the IRBTGD’s), and so presumably are its draftee soldiers, eighteen and nineteen-year-old kids who are fighting door-to-door against the hardened Arab-Nazi killers of Hamas in Rafah, even though the International Court of Justice has commanded them to stop. For the love of humanity, they cry, STOP! Stop, and let those beleaguered killers catch a breath and reload so they can resume their rape and murder spree. When you are all dead, Jews, perhaps we’ll put up a glass-encased display of your bones and your relics in a shadowy corner of the 75-foot-high United Nations General Assembly Hall in New York, with its blue, green, and gold décor. We’ll be kind enough to blur out your identity as Jews and mourn you as victims of “man’s inhumanity to man” or “intolerance,” at least until the next global wave of Jew hatred strikes your survivors, at which point you understand we’ll have to remove it.
What a tempting offer! Sadly, we must decline, even though your ruling comes from the renowned Court President, Nawaf Salam of Lebanon, who proudly represented his native country in the United Nations from 2007 to 2017. Lebanon joined four other Arab countries in invading Israel the day it declared its independence in 1948, initiating a state of war between the two countries that continues to this day. During Nawaf’s U.N. ambassadorship, his country completely lost its own independence, not to the filthy Zionist Jews, but to Hezbollah, the sock puppet of the Islamic Republic of Beating Teenage Girls To Death, whose role in instigating the ongoing hostilities the “international community” is ignoring despite the massive Iranian aerial attack on Israel in mid-April.
We decline despite the ICC’s unquestionable lack of bias and disinterested love of humanity, which is heinous of us, but you understand that our own Scriptures tell us that our own God calls us “a stiff-necked people.”
We decline even though we are humbled, thinking of all the good and the great now arrayed against us. Billie Eilish, who is numbered among the immortals for her exquisite little song about the feelings of a mass-produced plastic doll, wants to dip her pretty little hands in our blood. That famed international activist for human rights, the ravishing Lebanese beauty Amal Clooney, proudly tells the world how she helped bring criminal charges against the leaders of the Jewish state for their (belated and clumsy) efforts to destroy those who shout to the world about their desire for a second Holocaust of the Jews. Maria Ressa, Nobel laureate and journalist, bravely condemns us too with her antisemitic Harvard commencement speech, even though she said in that very speech that she knows she will be attacked for antisemitism as a result! What a shame all the passion and fury of these good and those great will be wasted on us stiff-necked people. But we still must decline.
’Cause here’s the thing, Judge Salam and pals. Even if we accepted your highly dubious claim to represent the united will of all the world’s peoples, we remember how that same world shut its doors in our faces or actively collaborated with the Nazis in exterminating 6 million of our people. And we know how UN peacekeepers have failed the people they were supposed to be protecting almost every single time they are deployed. Case in point, the United Nations Interim Force in Lebanon, none of whose 10,537 personnel have lifted a finger to impede Hezbollah’s constant missile attacks on Israel for the entire length of the current war.
So we decline your invitation to lay down our arms and let the murderers finish their work. And when our young men rescue the survivors among our innocents whom the Arab-Nazis of Hamas kidnapped last October and hold captive still in makeshift dungeons in Rafah, they will tell the world tales of suffering and survival that will shame and silence you, the Infamous Miscarriers of Justice.
Emanuel Goldstein 