A Dangerous Book That Teaches CRT

Dear Governor Youngkin,

I am so grateful to you for creating a way for parents like me to email complaints about “Critical Race Theory” being taught by undercover Communists in my son Tommy’s school, Bluebell Elementary in Cheesedip, Virginia. Like you, I had never even heard of CRT until 2021, but now I understand it is EVERYWHERE and is causing us all kinds of problems, the kind we wouldn’t have if Strom Thurmond had been elected President in 1948. It is so wonderful to see a cute young hedge fund manager like you who misses the good old days when you could hang an uppity you-know-what from a tree for giving you a sour look, without a lot of government interference.

But I am getting off track here. When I drove over to Bluebell Elementary for Parent-Teacher Night on Tuesday in my Ford F250 with the “TRUMP WON” flag, I was disturbed to find a CRT book in plain view on the Reading teacher’s desk (her name is Elaine Bottomley, please be sure to FIRE her and SEND HER TO THE ELECTRIC CHAIR). This dangerous work is called The Bible.

Right there on Page One it says, bold as you please, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.” This is race-mixing Communism! It doesn’t say a THING about White people who would go on to build America and Black people who were made to serve them, but since they refuse, have to be carefully split up into a million separate Congressional districts so they can’t overcome the votes of God-fearing Republicans.

I could go on and on and on and on about the dangerous CRT in this so-called Bible, like how it says you have to let slaves go during Jubilee Year, which is a violation of property rights, but I have to cut this short so I can go open a can of whoop-ass on Tommy for sharing his lunch with a future Welfare Queen, if you catch my drift. So I will just point out that not once, but TWICE, this Commie Race-Mixing Bible mentions a Queen of Sheba visiting King Solomon (in 1 Kings 10:1-12 and 2 Chronicles 9:1-13). This is blatant CRT, since no Black person could ever become a national leader except by forging his birth certificate! I beg you to fire Elaine Bottomley, sir, before she poisons little Tommy’s mind, and to make sure the Bible is banned from all public school libraries. You don’t have to worry about Elaine going on the dole, by the way: her husband is a pastor, and everyone knows how rich they are.

Sincerely,

James P. Crow
123 Main Street
Cheesedip, Virginia

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